


Delirium

by LibraryMage



Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Jedi Hera Syndulla, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Roleswap, Sickfic, Whumptober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27356584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraryMage/pseuds/LibraryMage
Summary: Hera falls ill and dreams about the Temple.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Hera Syndulla, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus & Hera Syndulla
Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948636
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Delirium

**Author's Note:**

> Whumptober 2020 Prompt: Disorientation
> 
> Roleswap AU! Hera was a Jedi. Kanan is not Force sensitive. Ezra is Hera's Padawan.

Hera was far too quiet and still for someone in so much pain.

Kanan knew all too well just what this virus felt like. He’d caught it himself years ago. The fever alone was bad enough to cause delirium, but even worse were the painful muscle spasms that continued for days even after the fever broke. He could see the excruciating pain Hera was in etched on her face, but still she barely made a sound.

She wasn’t just being quiet. It was like she was bracing herself for something. Her only movements were involuntary, and still he could tell she was fighting each spasm as much as she could, trying to stay perfectly still.

There was a soft knock at the door, and before Kanan could say anything, it slid open with a quiet _whoosh_. Ezra was hovering just outside the doorway, likely remembering Kanan’s order to stay out. He didn't want the kid seeing Hera like this.

Finally, Ezra entered the room and handed a cup to Kanan.

“I brought more water,” he said, not taking his eyes off of Hera.

“She won't drink it.” Kanan took the cup from him anyway. “But thanks.”

Ezra tugged nervously at his braid. It was one of the first things Hera had done after he’d agreed to become her Padawan. She’d put it deep in the layers of his thick hair, where it could be more easily hidden. Now, Ezra clutched at it like a kid clinging to a parent’s hand. Kanan didn’t need to be a Jedi to sense his anxiety.

“She’ll be okay, kid,” Kanan said. “She’s tougher than both of us put together.”

Hera clenched her jaw, biting back a whimper. Her arms went stiff, but still Kanan could see them shaking. Kanan stood, putting a hand on Ezra’s shoulder. It was time for him to go.

“Kid –”

“Can I stay?” Ezra asked. His voice was barely more than a whisper, but Kanan could hear something desperate in it, like he _needed_ to stay by Hera’s side.

“I don’t think –”

“You’ve been here all night,” Ezra said. “You’re exhausted.” He looked up at Kanan and gently tapped a finger against his own temple. “I can tell.”

The kid was right. Kanan _was_ exhausted. He’d told himself over and over that it was okay to doze off as he sat by Hera’s bedside, that he would wake up if anything happened. But he hadn’t been able to let himself do it.

“Go,” Ezra said. “We’ll be fine. I’ll get Zeb if I need to.”

Kanan hesitated for a moment. Ezra took advantage of his indecision to sit down in the spot Kanan had vacated at the foot of the bed. Any argument was over before it had begun.

“Alright,” Kanan said. He gently squeezed the kid’s shoulder. “Just try to get her to drink whenever she’s lucid. And when the spasms get bad –”

“Stick the pillow between her head and the wall,” Ezra said with a small nod. “I know.”

Satisfied that Ezra would be alright on his own with the other members of the crew within shouting distance, Kanan nodded and left the kid alone with his master.

* * *

Hera couldn’t breathe. If she did, she’d be caught in a second.

She could feel her leg starting to twitch against her will and fought to keep it still. If she moved, she was dead. The quiet _hum_ of a lightsaber’s blade drew closer and closer. She had to stay still. She had to stay _quiet_.

A sharp spike of pain shot down her leg and she cried out.

“No,” she muttered. “ _No._ ”

She kicked frantically, fighting to shove away the weight that pressed down on top of her. That dark, twisting presence in the Force was coming closer. She had to get away. She had to get away _now_ , but she was trapped. There was no way out and she was going to _die_ she was going to –

Hera’s eyes opened just enough for her to see dull gray metal above her. She lifted her head, trying to ignore the pounding in her skull as she did so. There was nothing on top of her. It was just her blanket tangling around her legs.

A warm presence, soft but skittish pressed gently against her mind, trying to reassure her. She knew it immediately.

“Ezra.” Her voice was hoarse. “You shouldn’t be here. Don’t want you sick.”

“I already had it,” he said. “Remember?”

She did vaguely remember him mentioning a mild case he’d had when he was younger. Before she could put any more thought into it, she saw that he was holding a cup out to her.

“Kanan said I should try and get you to drink this if you can,” he said. There was something cautious in his voice. Guarded. Hera couldn’t help but wonder just how long he’d been here. How much he’d heard.

Slowly, Hera pushed herself up so she was sitting against the wall. She took the cup from Ezra’s hand and drank a long gulp of the water before setting it aside. Ezra’s shoulders dropped, and Hera could sense his relief, though his hand still crept up and tugged at his braid. He’d developed the nervous habit shortly after she’d given it to him. It seemed to make him feel safe.

“You said a name.” Ezra’s voice sounded hollow. Almost _haunted_. Guilt twisted in Hera’s stomach at the sound of it. Ezra had a strong capacity for connecting to other beings. With Hera barely able to shield her mind as her fever raged, it was entirely possible he had sensed echoes of her memories and nightmares. Maybe even seen fragments of them.

“Nakari,” Ezra said. Hera’s hand fisted around the edge of her blanket. The memory of her old friend had haunted her since she’d fled Coruscant. Hearing Ezra say her name sent a pang of _guilt-longing-sorrow_ through her heart.

She knew Ezra was curious. She also knew that he wasn’t going to ask, not now. Not when she was on the verge of passing out again.

“She was my friend,” Hera said. “She died at the Temple.”

She took another long sip of the water, as if it could wash away the memory. The smell of burning flesh, the screams, the voices of other kids she’d grown up with – her friends, her _family_ – begging for mercy. She slid back down, her eyelids feeling heavy again. As they began to droop closed, she found herself speaking the words she hadn’t wanted to tell him.

“I hid underneath her body.”

* * *

As Hera slipped back into her fitful half-sleep, Ezra reached out and took her hand. Ever since he’d first set foot on the _Ghost_ , Hera had always seemed so invulnerable. He’d seen her get _shot_ and it had barely broken her stride.

But now he could sense the fear pouring off of her in waves as she sank back into her nightmares and memories. It was the kind of terror that made his very bones go cold, as if he’d been plunged into freezing water. And knowing his master was the one experiencing it shook Ezra to his core.

In Ezra’s short time on the ship, Hera had talked a little about the Temple, but had never told him exactly how she escaped the attack. The one time they had come close to the subject, he’d sensed her aching, crushing sorrow, even though her mind was heavily shielded. It had only lasted a moment, but it had been so powerful Ezra felt like his chest was cracking in two.

It was so much like what he felt every time he thought about his parents. A loss so heavy he didn’t think he could keep carrying it. The Jedi had been Hera’s family, just as much as the crew was now.

Moving carefully, Ezra reached out and took Hera’s hand in his. He closed his eyes, sinking into the currents of the Force that ran through his mind. The bond he and Hera shared held a warm glow, like embers burning in a hearth. Ezra reached for it, letting everything he knew Hera wasn’t coherent enough to hear him say flow across it. _I’m here. I promise, you’ll be okay. We won't let anything happen to you._

He knew Hera would be alright. This virus could be deadly, but she was through the worst of it. Still, he poured that reassurance across their bond, trying to help Hera stave off the terror she felt as her dreams trapped her in the Temple once again. After everything she’d done for him, the least he could do was try.

* * *

Screams rang in Hera’s ears. She bit down on the inside of her cheek, trying to keep quiet in spite of the pain that wracked her entire body. One by one, the gleaming lights that surrounded her in the Force were snuffed out. Footsteps were coming closer and closer until…

Warmth. Warmth spread through her mind as if she’d been pulled from a freezing pool of water and wrapped in a heated blanket. A flickering, uncertain presence in the Force was gently brushing against her mind.

Her Padawan. Reaching out to her. Trying to comfort her.

_The tables sure have turned_ , she thought.

Slowly, her movements deliberate but painful, she squeezed Ezra’s hand.

_It’ll be okay. I promise._


End file.
